Melanie’s Transformation

103

Pounds Released

124

Inches Gone Head to Toe

Wellness Certifications

MAX

Explosive Joy Level

Use Your Thoughts Wisely

“It was either take my life or take my life back.”

Compassionate Transformation

From Suicidal Ideation to Explosive Joy

My parents were drug addicts and alcoholics in my childhood and still have their struggles to this day. I saw the shortcomings of utilizing drugs and alcohol as coping mechanisms for dealing with unpleasant experiences and emotions. However, not being taught healthy boundaries or positive coping strategies, I resorted to food; sugar, specifically, to take the edge off unpleasantness. I would make a batch of raw cookie dough and eat it until I felt sick to my stomach.

I knew better intrinsically as I earned my Bachelor’s Degree in Kinesiology with a Minor in Nutrition and held a Certified Personal Trainer credential, but I didn’t give a shit about myself enough to bother entertaining any kind of positive change. I had myself convinced that a better quality of life wasn’t attainable for me.

I made some poor choices regarding relationships, had my first child when I was barely an adult (just shy of19), and had written myself off as a loss at a young age.

I put everyone’s needs before my own as a people pleaser looking desperately to find worth and value somewhere as I just couldn’t find it within myself. My basic needs, even taking a shower, brushing my teeth or brushing my hair were not on my to-do list. I was not a priority and my needs didn’t even come last, they didn’t come at all.

My second marriage was far healthier than the first, but not without baggage brought into it by both of us. I had two more children and was a stay at home mom to two kids who were 17 months apart both of which had colic. I ate to swallow my loneliness with being at home alone with small children who couldn’t hold a conversation. I ate to mask the disappointment of having no disposable income to go places or do fun things. I ate to deal with the fact that my husband wasn’t interested in having sex with me. Depression quickly set in and the pounds piled on.

I wanted to hide. I didn’t want to be seen, but most importantly, I didn’t want to get hurt anymore. I subconsciously put on the weight as a sort of “life-preserver” to “blend in” and keep people at a distance; even people I dearly loved and cared for.

Despite all the time and money I spent on my personal development going to retreats, seminars, webinars, purchasing books, etc., I still just couldn’t get my ass in gear. I had many suicidal ideations over the years, on several different kinds of anti-depressants, and had even been admitted to a hospital on a three day hold, however, it was October 24th, 2017 that I was finally serious about taking action on the suicidal thoughts.

I was ready to take my life when a dear friend happened to reach out at just the right time and convince me that I had worth, value, and suicide was not the answer. She shared her own struggles and triumph. She loved and accepted me when I felt most unloveable and worthless. She gave me hope.

I immediately changed my nutrition to reduce sugar and carbohydrate intake as those were my most frequent go-to’s for food abuse. I enrolled in several retreats, classes, and certifications that forced me to look internally and do the “innercise” necessary to take my life back. In no time, it was very clear that I did not love myself. I had no idea where to even start or what it meant for the longest time, so I started to use the mantra “I love myself enough to do something different” even if it felt like bullshit at the beginning and it began to reshape not only my mind, but my body, attitude, and energy.

I started to consume positive material (books, podcasts, YouTube videos, etc.) on a daily basis. I surrounded myself with positive people. I ate nutritious foods. I moved my body in ways that were exciting which happened to be heavy lifting and walking at an incline or running. I ultimately released 103 pounds of emotional and physical weight in 15 months. I shed over 10 feet of physical size off of my body with 124″ gone head to toe! I reduced my body fat percentage from 55% to 17%.

I said “no, thank you” to people, places, situations, jobs, etc. that stole my joy. I put myself at the top of my priority list and set healthy boundaries. I established my self-worth, self-esteem, and self-love to levels I wasn’t willing to reduce under any circumstance. I found my Explosive Joy and so can you!